Crazy
by Angelic Temptress
Summary: She's suffered a breakdown. Only a few come to visit her. It was bound to happen.


"Crazy"

A.T.

They're not mine.

PG-13

No spoilers.

Thank you, Missy.

XX

She didn't know why they kept the place so cold. Did they think heat would make the patients crazier? Or had someone tried to escape using the ventilation system in the past? Whatever the reason, it probably wasn't a good one.

Night was the worst. She'd look out her barred window and stare at where the clouds met the stars. She remembered the way it felt when her wings would touch the clouds and when they caught the perfect updraft.

She smiled at the memory, but it only lasted a few seconds.

The door made a noise. She knew someone was coming. They always did. Five men separately visited her for the past three months and haven't discontinued yet.

The one with the ears would see her every couple of weeks. He wouldn't say much when he came. He usually checked her vital signs and searched for any evidence of abuse before asking her how she was feeling. He wasn't very nice, but she somehow felt as if he was the most real of the five. He treated her the way she was supposed to be treated.

The red one zipped by three or four times a week. He acted as if nothing was wrong with her. He'd bring a smile to her face whenever he laughed; she didn't know why she smiled, but it felt good nonetheless. She knew he liked to see her smile. They'd play games together like poker or checkers. She'd always win. He once told her that he let her win, but she knew he was lying.

The man with the "S" on his chest made a habit of coming once a week. He'd ask her a lot of questions, ranging from the weather to whom she spoke to since the last time they met. He was an interrogator who, like the boy in red, smiled a lot; his smile was hesitant. Though he clearly told her they were friends, she could tell he was afraid to touch her or say something out of place. He was afraid of the lunatic breaking.

The green-skinned man came around once in a while. He had no set pattern because he was so busy; that was what he told her once. He'd grin and would ask if it'd be okay to touch her temples. When she felt strong enough, she'd permit him to do so. Sometimes, this would hurt. He had warned her of the pain but stated that he wouldn't do it often because she'd easily get hurt. He just wanted to make sure she was mentally okay.

"Shayera, you have a visitor."

The last of he five slowly came to sit beside her on the bed. His glowing eyes softened the second he entered her quarters, like they always did. She liked him. His uniform was pretty, and he had a nice face. He'd come to see her almost every day; he'd only miss their visits if he had work.

She recalled when he missed six days in a row once. She had been devastated and cried herself to sleep most nights. The doctor told her that she had formed an attachment to him. When he arrived on day seven, she gave him a hug, and he hugged her in return. She distinctively remembered the man whispering something into her hair that she couldn't hear. When he kissed her forehead, she started to think he had formed an attachment too.

That impression didn't bother her too much.

"Hey there."

"Hi."

He smiled and took her hands into his. "How are you feeling?" he asked with all the care in the world.

"Okay."

"Today was your meeting with the doctor. How did that go?"

"Well."

"Good." He pushed a strand of hair from her face and looped it behind her ear. His green eyes moved from left to right, up to down, as he examined her.

"How are you?" she questioned with genuine interest.

"I'm all right. Things haven't changed much since yesterday."

"How was work?"

"Fine. Superman and I had something to take care of in Metropolis."

She squinted. "Superman?"

"With the 'S' on his chest."

"Right. I remember. He was here the other day. He kept asking me questions."

"Then I won't ask you questions."

"No. It's okay when you do. I want to answer your questions." She lowered her gaze to her gray clothing and sighed.

"Something wrong?"

"I don't want to sit in here tonight. Do you think we could go for a walk?"

His lips curved into a smile. "Let me ask first."

XX

He held her hand as they walked through the recreation area of the hospital. She liked when he held her hand. She felt like she was the only special woman in the world.

"That's Ivy's rose garden. She and Harley tend it together."

"Really?" he said. "It's very nice."

She didn't know that she told him the same thing every time they walked past it together.

"Do you want to sit on the bench?"

"Yes."

After they sat down, she made sure to sit really close to him. Her leg was touching his. She glanced at his thigh and then her own, studying how they were different in size.

With his hand still intertwined with hers, he asked, "Did you make any new friends?"

"No. I talk to a few, but I don't think I like them."

"Why's that?"

"Bad vibes."

"Uh huh."

She allowed a smile to grow on her overly pleasant face. "John, did you make any new friends?" The sound of his name shocked him, she could tell. When the smile reappeared, she was relieved.

"No."

"Am I still your best friend?"

"Yes. You always will be."

"I've been thinking a lot lately."

"Oh?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I was trying to remember things." She started to gnaw on her bottom lip. "And I remembered one thing."

"What's that?"

"I think… I know that I love you."

His green eyes became wet with tears as his hand tightened around hers.

"John, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I should really think before I say stupid things that I don't even understand."

He shook his head. "No. No. You're fine. Thank you for telling me." John turned his body to face her. "What would it mean to you if I said 'I love you' in response?"

Her face glowed. "I'm not sure. I'd be happy, I guess."

"I love you, Shayera."

She smiled more. "Thank you."

John laughed awkwardly. "Jesus."

"You're not embarrassed for crying, are you? Because I don't think you're a baby. You are one of the bravest people I know." Her eyes looked past him and up toward the same night sky she saw from her window. "Did you ever have the yearning to just pick up and fly?"

"Sure."

"I want to fly away from here, John. I want to go where you are when I don't see you."

"Maybe we will one day."

"When I get better?"

"When you're healthy, sure."

Shayera sighed, remembers what so many people have been telling her. "Why did I block all my memories, John? Did I do something to completely traumatize myself?"

He stood and made her follow. "You need to find that out on your own."

"I hate that you can't help me."

"I try to jog your memory once in a while."

"That helps, and I appreciate it."

"I'm glad."

XX

Though John thought Shayera was sleeping, she wasn't. She was just resting her eyes.

He closed the novel he was reading aloud and gently kissed her mouth. John stood and walked out of her room when the security guards let him pass. It was her cue to run to the door and listen to what John and her doctor were talking about.

"Your visits are very good for her. She enjoys having you here."

"I like seeing her."

"Any progress?"

"She said she loves me."

"And?"

"She told me that once before."

"Very good. What else did she have to say?"

"She knows something's wrong with her."

"She does?"

"Isn't it true that people usually don't know they're crazy?"

"It's a symptom of schizophrenia."

"Shayera knows she blocked something from herself."

"Or she's accepted the fact that she's blocked memories."

"I want to take her home with me. She doesn't belong in this terrible excuse for an asylum."

"Mr. Stewart –"

"I'm not going to discuss this with you."

"She is traumatized. You will be putting her sanity at risk. The years she's spent as a spy, as a killer, and as a warrior have hurt her. We've also gone through so much trouble to house Shayera. Undocumented visits, your magician friend cloaking Shayera's appearance from all the inmates here, Batman –"

John interrupted, "Be assured that arrangements will be made to fully compensate for the time and effort that you and your staff put in for Shayera." After a slight pause, he added frankly, "I'll be back tomorrow." With that, he left Shayera alone for the night.

This time, she actually felt okay with John leaving. She knew he was returning for her, and that he'd take her home.

To his home.

To their home.

She knew he'd help her rediscover her memory. If it included more of John Stewart, it was worth the wait.

She ran to the window to watch John fly away in his beautiful green aura.

Shayera then whispered, "I love you," and crawled into bed.

X END X


End file.
